I first knew I was in menopause when…
I organised Menopause Awareness month in my Rise & Bloom Essential Community in 2020.
It was around the time this picture was taken, October 2020. It was then when the lightbulb went on. We were 9 months into the pandemic, I hadn’t had a cycle all this time and suddenly realised, oh. Is this it? Is this the menopause that I feel too young to be experiencing…
Now. For a woman who is all about deepening connection with her body, mind, emotions, experiences… I am rather embarrassed, Infact, there was a HUGE sense of shame at acknowledging that I had had NO CLUE that I was utterly, thoroughly, knee deep embedded in my peri menopause at that time- and had actually been experiencing heavy duty symptoms for around 4 years before then.
But I just didn’t know what it was.
Tumble weed moment.
As I was actually in shock. To the lack of my own body disconnect. To the lack of my knowledge and understanding of this crucial time in my life. But I had no clue as to any resources, conversations, holistic practices in this area that I felt supported by.
When I look back, my peri symptoms had started around 45. But I didn’t know it.
I had times when I felt I was experiencing post natal depression. My children were teens and I had long since left the post natal era. But that’s exactly what I was feeling. Low mood, heightened anxiety, digestive issues, nervousness. My monthly cycle had become erratic and I probably had just 5 days out of a month where I felt naturally balanced, where I was ‘unplugged’ from the mains of anxiety. Where I consciously didn’t need to manage my anxiety on a daily basis.
There was a huge deal of shame and hiding at this stage of my life too, as I was a Yoga teacher and just started an incredibly successful essential oil community, where on the one hand- I was bursting with ideas, enthusiasm, vitality and drive.
But on the other hand I was over anxious, I had days when the tears would just not stop flowing, day sweats and night sweats were becoming a regular occurrence, I had palpitations daily, my physical body was changing, my weight started to fluctuate frequently, my skin became saggy, and all the old patterns of low self worth, body confidence, and disordered eating that I felt I had dealt with in my 20’s- 30’s, started to rise up again, as if ghosts coming to the surface to be released.
In hindsight. And in conversations with other women… My life above was a classic menopausal experience. Of change. Of release. Of hormonal shifts. Of recalibration. Of transition.
With the knowledge I have now, my symptoms were literally showing me areas in my life that needed to be addressed, to be cared for, for me to prioritise me. And for many women I now see, it is the same patterning.
So in this past 18 months, with the knowledge of being in menopause, I have created conscious shifts in my life. I have consulted with my Dr and, at this time, I have chosen to work with specific holistic practices to support my peri and menopausal symptoms.
Here are a few of the things I’ve embraced:
I have intentionally Connected to the new flow of my monthly cycle to follow the flow of the moon, to regained my monthly rhythm again.
I swapped out my old supplements for specific ones for my hormonal changes.
I work with practices and meditations that release old emotional patterns that kept me bound to the old me.
I work with essential oils & sound healing to support my hormonal balancing and
I stopped drinking caffeine and alcohol and make dietary changes to nourish me.
I released feeling I was wrong and broken and realised I was in perfect harmony with Mother Nature.
I upgraded my skincare.
I took up wild swimming.
I practice Energy Flow Medicine and self massage daily.
I work with a PT for body strength.
I work with an intuitive wise woman life coach for clarity & direction.
I choose to see this time in my life as an absolutely awakening one. Not a cloud of fog and disconnect.
I am accepting change as an incredibly liberating thing.
So beauties, the clue is in the name. This time in our lives invites us to pause. to slow down. To Nourish ourselves more. To Rest. Sit and Listen to our whole selves, for what she needs, what needs to release, what needs to stay.
As looking back, I realise the peri menopause is a time of transformation, preparing us for the menopause, a time of liberation, of growing wisdom and awakening.
It is also a time where you don’t have to feel alone. There are many of us, Infact, thousands of us, who are all walking this path with you. So let’s keep connecting my loves. Supporting. Nourishing. Guiding. Holding space for one another so our own unique menopause journey doesn’t need to be one of fear, loss or confusion. It can be one of connection, clarity, empowerment and wisdom.